


Forward

by Naome



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naome/pseuds/Naome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving forward was never easy, especially if sweet ghosts litter about one's consciousness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Small warning for a small mention of suicide possibility in this fic

                The winds gently brush against my skin, sending the chills in waves traveling upwards on my arms and neck. The still sea waters I watched below were a deep navy, unmoving save for a few small waves. The moon was not up to lend its light for a spectral glow. A cough manages to escape from my throat, tightening my throat for a second as I bring a hand up to cover my mouth. There was no sound besides my coughing, and at this small thought, I felt as if time had stood still.

  
                I looked up to see black clouds roll by slowly. Time had not stopped; I had just been imagining it, which is a frequent thing when I find myself staying up at 2 in the morning. As I felt more of the gentle breeze wash itself over my skin, I shivered. I inhaled and then exhaled, watching the puff of breath before me slowly dissolve into the air.

  
                It was a typical night in Limsa Lominsa, yet I felt it was different in a way. As I continued to stare at the sea waters below, I could almost hear a familiar voice call out to me.

  
                “My dear, the waters look rather beautiful. Pray, however, do not tell me you intend to jump into them at this ghoulish hour!”

  
                I glanced up from my daze, hoping to find that Elezen standing behind me and smiling. I turned my head quickly and met no one. I sighed, scolding myself for expecting such an impossible miracle.

  
                He was gone, but when the world fell silent, I feel like he would be there. Besides me, or if not, somewhere nearby. Watching, waiting, listening, and sometimes even warning me to not do something reckless.

  
                I climbed over the railing which I sat on, sighing again. Of course I wouldn’t jump. I can’t do it. There’s too many things to give up now, even if what the fates had in store for me made my entire body shake with fatigue, despair, and anger.

  
                I rummaged through my sack and found a cloak. Hurriedly, I wrapped myself in it and rubbed my hands to regain some sense in them. I rubbed my cheeks and sighed. I looked up at the stars and felt water collect itself at my eyes.

  
                “Wrap yourself so you won’t be bitten by the cold, my dear!”

  
                I closed my eyes. I tried to remember his voice, but it’s been too long since I last heard him. I slowly lifted my eyelids and began to drag my feet towards the inn.

  
                It had been a long time since he died. It had been a long time since Haurchefant died. I swallowed hard and quickened my pace. Yet, even though I felt that the time we shared together was slowly being consumed by this fog in my mind, something like a ghost strengthened its presence around me.

  
                I swore I could hear his voice sometimes when I traveled to slay a few monsters. I swore I could feel his gaze upon my back still while I’m hunched over a desk reading a few ancient texts. I felt that, even sometimes, he would be walking besides me as I venture off to an important battle.

  
                Yet, every time I looked, he was not there. And some days, I sighed and gave the empty spot near me a hollow smile. Other days, my heart would stop for a few seconds as I feel my eyes burn. I shook my head. As time goes on and I feel myself move forward, I feel like I am slowly losing a grip on him. On my memories of him.

  
                But the feeling seems to linger. No, it does more than linger; it intensifies. My heart flares up when I think of him cheering for me or caressing my hands and face. My heart sinks when I think of him comforting me or when he tells me not to put myself in danger.

  
                I find myself stumbling into a bed and throwing some blankets over me as I continued to swim in these thoughts. It would take awhile, yes, it would still take awhile. As I closed my eyelids and felt myself drift off to sleep, I swore I heard him say it.

  
                “Good night, my dear. Rest well, and move forward.”

**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't be writing at late hours rip; maybe happier fics will happen when I'm not studying during break


End file.
